Values

Katherine in the woods, their hands in movement above their head. Sunlight streams down from above, and there's lots of greenery in the background

Authentic connection is the heart of my practice. I develop meaningful, genuine relationships with each of my clients. Clients learn the skills to access their whole self and bring that whole self to relationships. Together, we discover and communicate our desires, needs, and boundaries.

Social justice values are central to my life and my practice. Systems of oppression have a profound effect on our body and nervous system; I integrate healing around homophobia, racism, misogyny, ableism, transphobia, and other systemic traumas into every component of my work. I am committed to working with clients of all genders, races, sexualities, abilities, and income levels. I offer sliding scale pricing to clients in my priority areas who have financial need (see ‘Fees’ below).

My practice is grounded in both science and spirituality. It is important to me that my clients gain a clear understanding of the psychological and medical foundations of the exercises we do, as well as come to a deeper awareness of self through embodiment and connection. Our sessions will integrate mindfulness techniques, somatic exercises, anatomical exploration, open communication, skills practice, and just having fun together!

Location

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I’m based in Northampton, Massachusetts, land of the Nipmuc Nation, and am working with clients in the northeast. From December 2021 to February 2022, I am traveling to the west coast for intensives with my clients in Washington, Oregon, and California. My winter 2022 intensive slots are full; west coast clients who are interested in working with me can expect to meet in person in late 2022 or 2023.

I am also open to planning intensives with clients in other parts of the country on a case-by-case basis, as long as the client is able to cover my travel costs. The following cities are ones I visit with some frequency:

  • Seattle, WA
  • Portland, OR
  • Oakland, CA
  • Austin, TX
  • New Orleans, LA
  • New York, NY

Intensives and COVID Protocols

I have received my vaccine and booster, and I regularly get COVID tested as part of my work schedule. 

For clients who are not located close to Northampton or are not vaccinated, I am still open to meeting using an intensive structure. Here’s what that looks like:

  • Starting via video session. We get to know one another, build trust, and practice the foundational skills of surrogate partner therapy. Once you, your therapist, and I agree we’ve gotten what we can out of meeting online, we start planning our in-person intensive.
  • Meeting with one client at a time in an intensive format. You’ll talk with me and your therapist to decide on the length (usually 1 – 4 weeks) and frequency (usually 3 – 6 sessions/week) of our in-person intensive. For the duration of the intensive, we commit to keeping our pods contained and sticking to responsible quarantine practices.
  • COVID testing. Before we meet, we both get COVID tested and share our results with one another.
  • Open communication: Oddly enough, the pandemic presents a perfect opportunity to practice negotiating boundaries, a skill we focus on a lot in surrogate partner therapy. We’ll talk with one another about our health needs, COVID practices, and most importantly, what makes us feel safe – both before we meet in person and throughout the therapy.

As there are updates to the COVID situation, I will update this page and my protocols accordingly. 

Fees

My standard rate is $250/hour. I typically recommend 1.5 hours for a Zoom session and two hours for an in-person session.

At this time, my sliding scale spots are fully booked. If you come from a background without access to wealth and are a person of color, queer, trans, gender nonconforming, nonbinary, intersex, and/or disabled, please contact me to be added to my waitlist for sliding scale spaces.

Therapists

Surrogate Partner Therapy requires a triadic structure; the client, therapist, and surrogate work together continuously for the duration of the work. The client processes each of our sessions with their therapist, and the therapist and I check in regularly to ensure the client is supported.

If you are currently seeing a therapist and would like to work with me, contact me so we can discuss next steps. I am unable to work with clients who do not currently have a therapist.

If you have a therapist but aren’t sure if they’ll be on board to be part of the surrogate partner therapy triad, here’s a blog post I wrote with some tips on how to talk to your therapist about surrogate partner therapy.

 

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If you are not currently seeing a therapist and want to work with me, here are some tips on finding a therapist:

  • If you have health insurance, I recommend reaching out to your insurance company to find out their policy on therapy, which can save you a lot of money. If they offer coverage for mental health, ask them how you can find an in-network therapist, or do a Google search for therapists who accept your insurance.
  • Sex therapists and sex coaches tend to be more familiar with surrogate partner therapy than the average practitioner, so doing a Google search for sex therapists or sex coaches in your area is a good direction to start in.
  • Other types of therapists who I’ve found tend to be more open to collaborating on surrogate partner therapy include holistic therapists, somatic therapists, and therapists who use alternative medicines and approaches.
  • I don’t typically recommend asking your therapist about surrogate partner therapy the first time you meet. For therapists who are unfamiliar with the work, it can raise red flags about a client’s intentions (e.g., “are they truly interested in doing self-work or are they just trying to have sex?”). I encourage clients to build a trusting relationship with their therapist before they broach this topic, which can take several weeks or even several months.
  • One exception to this is if you have been in therapy in the past and are looking for a new therapist specifically to oversee your surrogate partner therapy journey. In this case, I do think it’s appropriate to bring up surrogate partner therapy in your first session. Tell your therapist about your therapy journey up to this point, what limitations you found with the therapy you received before, and why you think surrogate partner therapy is a good fit for you. Be open to answering your new therapist’s questions; check out this blog post if you need tips on talking with them. If a therapist tells you they’re not interested in collaborating on a surrogate partner therapy case, don’t push it; it’s best to find a therapist who is supportive of your goals.
  • If a therapist has concerns that surrogate partner therapy is not the right fit for you, I always recommend hearing them out. Not all clients who think surrogate partner therapy is what they need are actually ready to take on this work. If a therapist tells you they don’t think surrogate partner therapy is the right fit for you, ask them what next steps they think would be supportive to your goals around intimacy, relationships, and sex.