What is somatic sex education?

“Somatic Sex Education offers a new way of understanding our bodies, our sexuality, and our erotic capacities; weaving the scientific understanding of human sexuality together with spiritual practices of erotic energy cultivation.” – Caffyn Jesse, Somatic Sex Educators Association

Somatic sex education is a modality that builds embodied self knowledge to help clients discover pleasure, heal from trauma, and find sexual empowerment. Through coaching, nervous system and anatomical education, boundary exercises, and hands-on touch work, somatic sex educators support clients to find their own path to their sexual goals.

What types of issues does somatic sex education seek to address?

I love supporting clients with goals such as:

  • increasing embodiment and somatic awareness
  • discovering your own desires
  • recovering from sexual abuse and trauma
  • exploring one’s sexual or gender identity
  • breaking harmful relationship patterns
  • exploring polyamory and solopolyamory
  • enhancing the pleasure of one’s masturbation/solo sex practice
  • learning healthy boundaries and consent practices
  • rehabilitation from patterns of sexually harming others
  • learning how to have an orgasm
  • learning about your sexual anatomy
  • vaginismus treatment
  • awakening sexual desire and learning to enjoy sex
  • increasing sexual pleasure with a disability
  • inexperience with dating, sex, and relationships
  • releasing sex-shaming cultural and religious narratives

What does a somatic sex education session involve?

What a session looks like varies a lot from client to client. Sessions may include discussion and counseling, sexological bodywork (one-directional sexual healing touch), meditation, movement games, and somatic exercises. Nervous system education and body awareness are the foundational skills of everything we do; clients learn to find and express their authentic “yes” and “no,” and that embodied awareness informs the direction of each session.

Some clients find that keeping our work to just talking is most comfortable, whereas others might feel ready to hop on the massage table for sexological bodywork early on in our work. Many clients start with conversation and build their way up to receiving touch over many sessions. Whether it’s through touch, talk, games, or movement, your body’s wisdom guides us every step of the way.

I start most sessions with a grounding exercise, finding what works for each client; some people like movement, some prefer stillness, and some are uncomfortable with somatic awareness altogether, so we take our time to find what fits. As clients bring their concerns up, I often create custom exercises to match their needs. We’ll be in discussion throughout our work to see what feels useful for you.

Do you offer online sessions?

Yes. Not every client needs hands-on touch work. If what you’re interested in is somatic self awareness, tools for staying regulated and embodied, and guidance to better understand your relational needs and boundaries, online sessions can be a great fit.

How many sessions do I need?

Somatic sex education is customizable; you’re welcome to come for one session to try it out, book a series of sessions, or work with me on an ongoing basis. Many of my clients see me weekly or every other week. Some come as needed, whenever they feel like they need support. What works for you will depend on your goals; some goals require more time than others. Here are examples of how long some goals might take:

    1 – 2 sessions
  • Getting in touch with my desires and boundaries: learning to identify when a request or touch is a “yes” or a “no” in my body
  • Gaining a better understanding of my nervous system and some tools for self regulating
  • Sharing memories, thoughts, and experiences I may have felt shame about in the past, and being witnessed without judgment
    3 – 5 sessions
  • Pleasure mapping: discovering which areas of my body and which types of touch bring me the most pleasure
  • Learning to communicate with partners about challenging topics like gender identity, kink, trauma, and what works for my body
  • Finding new ways to masturbate that bring better orgasms and more satisfaction
    6 – 10 sessions
  • Addressing premature ejaculation and learning to last longer
  • Becoming comfortable receiving touch that has felt scary or painful in the past
    Longer term (10+ sessions)
  • Learning to orgasm, or to orgasm more easily
  • Healing attachment wounds and old traumas that get in the way of connective relationships and sex
  • Breaking relationship patterns that aren’t working for me, and learning to build supportive, mutual relationships

What’s the difference between somatic sex education and surrogate partner therapy?

You can learn about the key differences between the two modalities I offer here.

What are your fees? Do you offer sliding scale spots?

My rate for one-on-one somatic sex coaching is $225/hour. 

I offer steep sliding scale rates for clients who are queer, trans/nonbinary, people of color, and/or have a disability. Please contact me if you qualify and we will find a rate that works for you.

Photos by cottonbro studio on Pexels and the Gender Spectrum Collection

somatic sex coach, sex coach, sex coaching, somatic sex coaching, sexual trauma healing, sexual recovery, sex trauma, sex therapy