This post is written for people who have vaginas, but I imagine it could be beneficial for anyone who has sex with people with vaginas.
Despite the fact that I’m a sex educator and a surrogate partner, it wasn’t until about a year ago that I finally found my own G-spot. I’d always heard the myth that the G-spot was a ridgey area about two inches up the vaginal canal, found using a “come hither” motion with the index finger. This overly-specific adage had me confused for years! I tried to find my G-spot on my own and with multiple partners, but whenever someone touched the area two inches up my vaginal canal, not only was it not pleasurable – it usually caused me pain. It wasn’t until I started my somatic sex education training that I finally confirmed what I’d been suspecting for years: my G-spot was right at the entrance of my vaginal canal! Wondering where your G-spot is? Here are some helpful tips and tools for finding it:
- The G-spot is not a single “spot” — it’s more of an area. There’s still a lot of disagreement in the medical community about what the G-spot is, where it’s located, and if it even exists (sigh . . . leave it to the medical community to spend millions researching solutions for erectile dysfunction but still not have determined that the G-spot is real). One current theory that makes a lot of sense to me is that the G-spot is the back side of the clitoris (see image to the left) — the part that you can access from inside the vaginal canal instead of from the vulva. Everyone’s bodies are different, so the size and shape of your G-spot are unique to you; mine stretches a couple inches horizontally near the base of my vaginal canal.
- The G-spot can be located anywhere from right around the entrance of the vaginal canal to a few inches further up. For folks who have a lot of clitoral sensitivity in the glans (the only above-skin part of the clitoris, at the top of the vulva) or shaft (the part above the glans, just under the surface of the vulva), your G-spot might be a little higher up. For folks like me who are more sensitive along the vestibular bulbs or crura (legs) of the clitoris, you may find your G-spot is a little lower down. Use your index or middle finger to gently explore the forward side of your vaginal canal from the very base to a few inches up. If you’ve reached the spot where a tampon would sit, you’ve probably gone too far.
- It’s easiest to find the G-spot when you’re already turned on. You know those ridges everyone talks about when describing the G-spot? They get a lot more defined when your clitoris becomes engorged. Just like a penis, a clitoris gets erect when you get turned on. Before trying to locate your G-spot, spend some time stimulating your go-to masturbation spots. Once you’re feeling pretty aroused, that’s the time to begin gently exploring the front side of your vaginal canal with a fingertip. Feel around for the skin folds that feel kind of like the ridges of the brain or a coral reef.
- There is no magic location. Just like with the rest of our anatomy, everyone’s bodies are different. If someone was trying to find their belly button, you wouldn’t tell them to look five inches above where their pubic hair ends — that might be true for some folks, but it might be three inches for one person and ten inches for another. The size and location of your G-spot will vary depending on the size and shape of your body. Take the time to get to know your own unique anatomy.
- Not everyone enjoys G-spot stimulation. For some folks the G-spot is just not the spot. Don’t get down on yourself if you’ve spent some time trying to find the G-spot and it’s not getting you off. Erogenous zones are different for everyone — just because this one area isn’t your thing, it doesn’t mean you can’t access pleasure! Any body part can be an erogenous zone, so try exploring your nipples, fingertips, ears, perineum, neck, toes. It may feel like a bummer at first, but often times knowing what doesn’t work for your body can lead to even more self-discovery.